My mom told me that God has been doing the most incredible things since she was pregnant of me. Long story short, the doctors told my mother that she had to do abortion because I was dealing with too many problems especially with my blood. My mom didn’t believe it and she said she wanted to take the risk and have them do whatever it takes to have this baby. She was risking her life and not only mine. My mom didn’t give up, she cried out to God that He gave her this baby and it will live. She told me she suffered every single day having pregnant but she knew it was worth it. She even changed hospitals 2 times because the doctors kept telling her the same thing. Until, finally I was born, but a month early. When my mom told me this whole story, I asked her, “What if you were still Catholic… would’ve you still fight for me?” she said, “No, she wouldn’t even care.”
When I turned 3 years old, I began to suffer. I got my appendix removed, which is a whole other long story. Also, I lost part of my hearing from both ears. And what caused that to happen was that I had an extremely strong cold that the immune system got out of control and also got damaged, so I lost my hearing. My mom told me that she went to as many doctors possible to see if there was any treatment and each doctor said the same thing, my mom didn’t believe the doctors once again so she fought for me. What the doctors said was that they have no treatment, that every year my hearing will get worse little by little, that I will get hearing aids for a couple of years, then become deaf, until later in the years I will probably be in a wheelchair in special ED.
A couple of years later, still living in New York, it was a time where we were going through so many problems living. Until my mom had this dream that she was driving down a road she has never been before and saw a sign say “Welcome to Georgia”. She woke up and told my dad to look it up. They were fascinated about the state so we moved there when I was 7 years old. It was God in her dream because when my mom got everything for me to go to the doctor, they had the treatments, they assigned me to a rheumatologist to check how every part of my body is since my immune system was also not protecting my bones. These doctors found out so much about me that we just came to realize that God was basically showing us that we don’t belong in New York that we belong here in Georgia. After a couple of years, right now, my bones are in fine shape, and I stopped taking the drugs assigned that I used to take 7 times a week. I still struggle with my hearing problem but, I feel so blessed, and every time I tell this story, I just know that God has a huge purpose for me.
During all of my years of being hard of hearing, I suffered. My childhood was the worst part of my life, something I really don’t want to go through again. I grew up feeling emptiness, rejection, unloved, I felt that my parents and sister didn’t want me; I was surrounded by parents who kept fighting all the time. At school, I felt so rejected. In kindergarten, everyone hated me, even the teacher, she put me into the boys table and lied to my mom about my behavior. Here in Georgia from 2nd grade to 4th people were embarrassed to be around me because I would wear hearing aids. I was teased, bullied, I don’t know what else to say of what they did to me but I felt so left out. I didn’t have any friends. I had a one special ED teacher that would come to check on me once every week. I came to the conclusion that I was failing every class, and for failing 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade, passing every grade with summer school, I had to be transferred to a different Elementary School for 5th grade that had a DHH (Deaf and Hard of Hearing) program. There I learned sign language, I improved my grades, and it was the best year yet.
In 6th grade is where I was trying to be like someone else, I did everything possible to make myself look good, and do anything to be able to fit in. I had some kind of friends but not true ones. At home once again, my parents fight all the time, my sister having her door slammed in my face every time I wanted time with her. It was so hard for me that I was thinking of cutting myself, I didn’t want to exist. So I started packing some clothes to just escape from my window and run away. At that moment when I finished packing and I was just about to open the window to leave, something hit me and I didn’t know what it was but it was telling me to not do it. So I stepped back and never ran away.
I didn’t have a relationship with God; I just lived my life miserable. I was forced to go to church with my parents, it was called Catredral de Fe. I went there for 5 years. But my dad started to dislike the church so we went looking for another church and we found Victory. The church that is across from there, we went there for a while but Victory kept getting our attention so we went there on October 2005. I went to 212, a youth group, for my first time and I go in there and I see people at my age raising their hands and crying out to God, I was thinking, “What is this? I thought raising your hands and all that was for old people.” I was just sit there alone and I liked Pastor Rolando because he was funny.
A year later now that I was in 7th grade, my life just started getting better. I went to Ignite, a youth conference, for my very first time and it was unbelievable. I gave my life to God but in Ignite 2008, I got completely delivered. In 6th grade is where I started getting my passion for music by learning clarinet then I moved into being a punk. I just loved rock music, and I remember specifically a message Rolando preaching at Ignite 2008 and it was about music. I busted out crying in unbelief of what I was hearing, I came up to the alter and I just started crying out “JESUS! PLEASE HELP ME SEE THE UNSEEN” I was crying uncontrollably. Until I felt a peace, and then I was crying out of joy. When I got back, I went on my iTunes and deleted every song. I started crying because I had nothing left to listen to when I seriously love music. My sister gave me a list of Christian bands and my life completely changed from then. One verse that changed my life that God spoke to me directly was James 1:2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Little by little, I would raise my hands higher and higher as time went by. It is unbelievable how God totally turned my life in a whole different way I could’ve never picture myself in my life. I got a chance to learn how to love others even if they treat me terribly. I love people with all of my heart. Right now, I love being there for people at anytime. I live my life for people and God most of the time than for myself. Every time I ask God, how did I end up loving people so much when I basically grew up feeling hatred by people? And my answer always ends up being, because I gave my life to Jesus. It is the best decision and moment of my entire life.
My eyes opened to see that my parents really do love me and so does my sister. They do everything for the best of me, my mom would’ve never went through so much suffer for me if she didn’t love me as much as she does right now. I got know the real me and who I was meant to be. I got to embrace the things that I never got to embrace when I was a child. I finally got the friends that I’ve always needed by my side. I went through very hard times in high school, I made so many mistakes but at the end I had someone to turn to, every mistake wasn’t a mistake because God created it to form the real me, for me to gain His wisdom and faith through Him.
At the end of 2009, there was this service called Thirst at Victory. My friend, Marcela, at the end of the service tells me that I am Esther. I flipped out and I was like there is no way I was like a Queen and so beautiful that even the bible mentions it. A couple of months later, I don’t know why I never read the book of Esther. I came over my friend’s house for the very first time and I met their mother and I way on their dining table a bible opened right in the book of Esther. I asked her mom why is it opened there? Turns out that she is a prophet and started prophesying over me for like an hour. A month later I still haven’t read the book of Esther. I was at growth track, a youth small group, over the summer and something hit me that I HAVE TO READ THE BOOK OF ESTHER. When I got home I stayed up ‘till 4am rereading the book of Esther multiple times. Until finally, the words Master’s Commission popped in my head and my heart started racing and my soul just started just feeling joy. That was the moment where I knew that is where God wanted me to go.
I’m 18. Right now I think to myself, God loves me so much. I can’t thank Him enough for what He has done for me. Hearing the story of my mom’s pregnancy completely amazed me that I realized that the devil has been trying to kill me ever since I wasn’t even born! I went to the hospital so many times because I have a very sensitive body. In high school I was able to do Cross Country, the best time of my life in high school. I play guitar, I love to do art, and so many other things. I got to reach out to others in a way I never thought I could. I am doing so many things right now that I wouldn’t be able to do if I stayed in New York. Who I am, I never in my life imagined that I can become who I am today. That just shows how big is our God. And right now I can’t remember when the last time I went to the Hospital was. I love my life. And yes I still have hearing loss but I ask for prayer over that. I know I will be healed. And if it wasn’t for the love of God over me, I wouldn’t love my life simply because of my hearing loss. But God is greater than that and has done already so much for me. That already makes my life amazing. I am so thankful for it. I am alive because God loves me. And because He is the reason why I am alive… As I am alive, I live for Him and Him only. Thank you Jesus for your love over me.
If you have any questions about me or about yourself or anything you are willing to get an answer or for help, I will love to give answers. I am here to spread the Word and to show you and share with you the love that God poured on me. :)